My Digital Journal

December 6, 2024 10:59:44 AM – December 6, 2024 11:30:15 AM

As time passes, everything that I used to enjoy are starting to become repetitive, and now, the only thing that I can do is continue focusing on the new things in which I've already began taking interest.

But I do miss when those things were still new, but I guess that's the reality of it.

VRMMORPG web novels used to be interesting to me, and now they all bleed the same color. It seems that only my fiction writing interests me nowadays, because I can directly focus on things that are new and interesting to me. Plus, it is like a level editor, so it has that creative freedom, excitement, and control.

Minecraft used to feel much more exciting, but now, I find it more interesting to write.

I keep wishing that there was some way to play Minecraft in a way that demonstrated my creativity, but I have explored everything and do not feel satisfied. I have grown up and find that writing demonstrates that much better and is much more satisfying and challenging.

The same old buildings, journeys, features, etc. At one point, anyone can replace me in a server, and it would still functionally be the same. The only difference is that I bring a lot to the table outside of the server because of my personality, interests, and creative expressions and such, but when it comes to Minecraft itself, not very interesting unless it's a place of friends who take interest in each other's real lives, personalities, interests, and creative expressions.

For example, the reason that just walking around and going to a cafe, which seems void of individual expression, are so full of individual expression is that our real-life bodies, body language, mannerisms, voice, tone, speech, and such tell much and express much individually. Having an autobiography-journal with over 1.7 million words and numerous fiction novels definitely help, but just these aforementioned details are already significant.

This goes the same with Minecraft, but much less, since we are anonymous and do not have body language and such as much. Of course, the way that people move, play the game, and interact with others says a lot, but it is limited to text at most, or voice. But most people do not use voice. Text, virtual avatars, and a limited playground offer little.

One would think that a cafe offers even less since it does not have a progression or visible game-like goals the way Minecraft does, but it is the fact that it is a space merely for relaxation and expression that makes it a very powerful place for self-expression. It is ultimately limited, but being there in real life is such a powerful thing.

Text, anonymous virtual avatars, and a limited playground offer little when it comes to understanding others, because one can trace easily the paths that people take and understand that there is nothing inherently special or individually expressive in a way that makes them distinct about such in-game behaviors. What actually impacts things is text, but the problem is that most people are not writers. So they will likely have functional calls and straightforward "NPC" language, even if it is common and normal in the current Internet trends and culture and such.

Individual expression requires a high level of time, space, resources, freedom, intentionality, and vulnerability, and that is why writing (not just texting), videos, and real-life discussions are perfect for that.

If I joined a server now, I know that I would probably not be distinct at all. I remember when I was hosting a Minecraft server for my Twitch viewers when I was live streaming back in 2021. But I only remember the people that not only made buildings but interacted with me much and with the rest of the community. The more that they served as pillars, the more easier they were to remember. This means that it was easier to remember those who were proactive in self-expression and integrating with and contributing to the community—self-expression (communication out of personal ways, methods, approaches, needs, wants, and interests) being significant because it was the means whereby integration and contribution could be best accomplished. But it would have been even more significant if they had their own personal website (carrd.co) and used that proactively as a means to advance mutual understanding. The more proactive they were in closing the gap, the more they served as pillars and they more easier they were to remember. In this way, Minecraft is at best a virtual setting for what are real instances of self-expression. It is inherently limiting, because body language, overheard conversations, voice, tone, and speech, and other details are not automatically expected. So being proactive here through self-expression through direct interactions and through personal websites creates a clearer contrast and positive effect. But it would be even more powerful if it was real life of course. To give an example, I remember staying only two days at an event at the coffee booth of my mother, and there was this woman in the booth next to ours. And I knew so much about her just by being in her general presence, even if we only had one direct interaction, where she told me to look out for her booth while she and the older woman who was serving at the booth with her went elsewhere. My peripheral view and innumerable moments of looking at her directly throughout her interactions with others already gave me a lot to work with, insomuch that direct interaction was as smooth as butter, maybe not necessarily for everyone, but such preparation already changed a lot. I can remember that she was blonde, had a ponytail, wore glasses, was light-skinned, and wore an apron, though she wore lipstick and wore more "polished", less functional clothes on the first day. I can remember critical details about the way that she was even after more than a month. Considering this example, one can only imagine the potency of a personal website and direct interactions, both offline and online, in reinforcing the effect of such a real-life preparation in terms of making someone recallable, individual, and distinct. In such a way, they have exhibited infinitely greater levels of self-expression than some random that I see on a Minecraft server with nothing else but their functional and replaceable movements and interactions with the world, even in the form of personally created buildings that resemble merely the ones that I see on Youtube videos, from which they likely imitated.